For the Year of 2011
January: The year began with the revelation that the UK’s inflation was shooting up 3.7% prompting speculation that the Bank of England would be forced to raise its interest rates within the next few months. The bad news didn’t stop there, The UK’s economy shrank by a massive 0.5% in the previous quarter.
Elsewhere things weren’t looking great for the Euro with a chilling prediction being made by Biktor Orban, Hungary’s prime minister, telling the world that they would have to “save the euro over the next six months.” While across the pond the US were busy signing a record export deal with, the rapidly expanding, China.
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| His helmet may be made of bread but his point is a valid one! |
Thousands of Tunisians took the streets of their country, rising up against their president, Ben Ali. Marking the first, of many, despots to be overthrown in 2011.
February: Another month, another revolution. This time it was the turn of Egypt as they rose up against tyrant number 2, president Mubarak. Rioting and strikes cost the country a lot financially and, at this point, was waiting to show any results.
Inflation in the UK continued to rise, this time by 4%, higher than in the past 2 years and the Bank of England now announced the probability of raising interests were highly likely, all but, confirming all the previous speculation. Also, good news kept rolling in for China, as it over took Japan as the worlds 2nd largest economy.
Meanwhile, Colonel Gadhafi, despot number 3, was feeling the heat, as, inspired by the year’s plethora of dictator overthrowing’s Libya decided to rebelled against him.
March: This month arrived with the news of an economic collapse, that of Charlie Sheen, another megalomaniac, and his acting career. Suddenly the, then, highest paid actor, earning $1.8million per episode of 2½ men, was out of a job and soon found himself touring.
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| Japan is rocked by horrific floods! |
More importantly, elsewhere Japan’s year got considerably worse with a massive tsunami hitting the country, rocking their financial markets and leaving them in a economically unstable situation.
Ratings agencies begin their massacres with Greece’s economic rating dropping to B1 and Spain’s to Aa2.
April: Similar to Jaws, the toothy, shark like ratings agency’s developed a taste for blood, I mean downgrading and were quickly at it, like a shark into meat. Standard & Poor bit into the US debt outlook and changed it form stable to negative for the first time since 1941.
Finally, however, China’s economy started to show potential cracks, cutting its interest rates again, sparking fears of it overheating. No worries though, they’re still on track to becoming the dominant nation by the end of the century.
May: These desperate financial times called for an inspirational leader. In unrelated news head of the International Monetary Fund was arrested for sexual assault, prompting his resignation. Brilliant! Portugal negotiated a £70billion bailout deal and the OECD kept on about the idea of the UK raising its interest rates to prevent inflation. Still nothing on that.
June: A Berlin meeting is held between Angela Merkel and Nicolas Sarkozy to discuss how to “save the Euro in 45 minutes.” The Euro’s falling apart and all tabloids can do is make it sound like the world’s worst action movie, typical.
As the Euro was portrayed as a ticking time bomb, it was remarkably close to the truth. With Greek bonds hitting record levels with riots tormenting their streets, putting increased pressure onto their government.
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| Could the Euro tumble down like a Jenga tower? |
The possibility of Greece teetering on the precipice of collapse caused the UK stock markets to fall, despite the IMF being support of the UK’s austerity measures.
July: Biktor Orban, remember him? Turns out his six month prediction was pretty close as, “at the 11th hour”, a solution emerged to save the Greek economy, a “Marshall plan”.
The IMF got a new head, French Finance minister Christine Lagarde. Another European as head didn’t get a great welcome from developing nations calling for the position to be filled based on competence rather than nationality. Accusations of favouritisms as the Euro hangs in the balance, great.
Mean whilst back at home second quarter GDP figures arrived, and they weren’t great. But thankfully, Britain as an optimistic nation hoped that a combination of the Royal Wedding, snow fall, hot weather and the Olympics would make up for it.
Roll on August.
August: In the UK the Monetary Policy Committee members were suddenly in agreement, leaving the great presences of Weale and Dale to suddenly cease with their protests as a unanimous vote was passed for the interest rates to remain at their all time low of 0.5%. Despite all the fuss made about over the early months of the year.
It’s only downhill after Bin laden’s death, months earlier, for Obama’s presidency as his presidency is shaken as Standard & Poor’s threat is made good and the US is downgraded to a AA+ rating, with them saying that the deficit reduction plan being too tame.
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| 2011's answer to James Bond! |
September: The month when the adverts for Christmas begin! In answer to the great summer blockbuster “45 minutes to save the Euro” a sequel is planned for release in the late Christmas run, as world leaders start doubting whether they have indeed saved the euro. Central banks poured thousands of US dollars, in a co-ordinated action to boost market confidence, into the financial system.
The UK public sector cuts send unemployment through the 2.5million barrier and the UK economic growth forecast is cut, despite the IMF backing the June austerity plans.
October: Sarkozy flies to Germany to meet with Prime Minister Angela Merkel, missing the birth of his first child. So, assuming Sarkozy isn’t just really terrified of maternity wards, things were serious. Despite this, Europe’s leaders claim victory with an increasing bailout fund- the EFSF, now at about 1trillion euros.
The bank of England pumps £75billion into the UK banks to prevent flattening, more than most economists were predicting.
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| Can Mario rescue the Princess? |
November: Sure enough the optimism of October is shattered by November and indeed the “victory” suffered a massive set back as Silvio Berlusconi is forced out, despot number 4 gone, as interest rates rise 7% and like predicted and Italian named Mario comes to rescue, only this one isn’t a plumber. Unwanted leader number 5 also fell, with George Papandreou, Greek Prime minister departing as his referendum is crushed.
Britain had some good news though, we grew by 0.5% and inflation started to fall. Happy? Don’t be, the UK will barely grow next year.
December: After much anticipation the sequel to this year’s euro crisis drops and in a shock plot twist British Prime Minister David Cameron drops out of the fiscal compact ending the film on a cliff hangar. Was this the right move for the UK? Was the fiscal right for Europe? Stay tuned for the inevitable third film in the trilogy.
In other news US and Chinese relations continue souring as Beijing imposed additional duties on US cars. Also, the US got an early Christmas present in the death of despot number 6, Kim Jong Il, causing Korean Stocks to fall, ending the worst year for enemies of the United States.
Getting into the festive spirit the IMF rounded the year off with a happy new year message: the world’s at risk of sliding into a 1930-style slump!
Have a happy new year, if your lucky, the world might end!
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